We will be more equipped to handle our own emotions as teenagers and adults if we have grownups in our lives who recognise, accept, and soothe the fear, frustration, and anger driving our behaviour (instead of merely handing out consequences).
Credit: Lindsey Braman
]]>When a child is exposed to multiple ACEs over time, especially if there are no supportive adult relationships to provide buffering protection, the experiences can trigger an excessive and long-lasting stress response, which can have a wear-and-tear effect on the body, similar to revving a car engine for days or weeks at a time.
These exposures can wreak havoc on healthy brain development, social development, immune systems, and lead to substance misuse and other unhealthy coping behaviours. Traumatic events in childhood can be emotionally painful or distressing.
The Inner Child Explained
The inner child is a part of us that has been with us since we were conceived, through infancy, and is the part of us that develops around the age of 4 - 9 years old. Many people confuse it with the ego, subconscious, and shadow self.
It is all of these things, and it pervades your entire inner being. You are at a very impressionable age in your early school age years, Your cognitive abilities are racing to keep up with your emotions. As a result, when you have a 'bad' experience, your young mind is unable to process it. There is no point of reference - This is what leads to formation of traumatic experiences.
You have no way of rationalising what has happened to you. You can't bring closure to anything that causes you pain. You have no choice but to file it away in your subconscious, place it in a box and close the lid on it.
But I can tell you from lived experience that childhood dissociation doesn't solve the problem. It only postpones the problem.... Your inner child is essentially your personality's seed bank, It is where you develop the vast majority of your preferences. It's the part of you that holds onto anything that you repress.... and yes of course whatever you push down must at some point be expressed; it can only be described as like a pressure cooker; one day, perhaps many years or even decades later, it will inevitably boil over, bringing all those negative experiences to the surface.
Why You Will Always Express What You Repress
Unresolved trauma is the root cause of ACEs wreaking havoc on people's lives. When you are exposed to trauma at a young age, it sticks with you. You're like a sponge, soaking up everything. Your mind is in an information-gathering phase at this point in life. It's taking careful notes on everything. On the inside, trauma alters who you are. It also shapes and sculpts the way your nervous system works. As a result, when you go through these difficult situations, they stick with you.
When you have unresolved trauma, your nervous system continues to function as if you are still in danger in a hyperarousal state. It does not want to let down its guard - its ready awaiting that next oncoming threat. This is how it tries to keep you safe, and it can go on unnoticed in the background. The traumas follow you around and eventually make it very difficult to ignore or push them away. You try to push them away because, even though you are an adult, you still carry the child who was scared and scarred deep within you, Then, when you see or hear something that reminds you of that time of trauma, Bang - those memories can resurface as flashbacks, fear, panic or anxiety.
Unresolved Trauma and Your ACEs
Unresolved trauma is frequently the cause of many people numbing themselves with alcohol, drugs, or other addictions such as excessive working, shopping or gambling - and OCD tenancies. It's the reason people feel like their lives are spinning out of control. Adverse Childhood Experiences can manifest as low self-esteem, emotional impairments, difficulties enforcing healthy boundaries, difficulties forming intimate relationships, risky behaviours, displaying a victimhood mentality, poor body image, eating disorders, self-harm, co-dependency issues, addiction, mental health, and or chronic health conditions..
ACEs and the harms they cause are avoidable. Creating and maintainingsafe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments for all children and families can help to prevent ACEs and help all children achieve their full health and life potential.
Evidence tells us that ACEs can be prevented by:
Speech and Language therapy sessions involve
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to rewire, relearn and strengthen important connections. The first five years of life are critical for neurological development. During this time, the brain is developing at rapid speed making it the ideal time to harness neuroplasticity. When the brain is injured or grows abnormally, neurons are damaged, altered or lost causing disability.
The brain is such a phenomenal complex organ which has the ability to create new pathways around an injury, or allow a healthy area of the brain to take over, by harnessing neuroplasticity through practise and repetition in Speech and language therapy session, the brain will create and reinforce new neural pathways to enable the child to learn new skills, habits and ways of thinking.
Early Intervention are fundraising to help support as many non-speaking children within Aberdeen city and shire possible. We are also appealing for any registered or retired SALT therapists who can volunteer their time to help us reach as many children as we can.
Just £80 will provide one speech and language therapy session for 6 local non-verbal children and their parents.
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So we have all been to those multi-agency planning meetings (MAPM) where professionals are making decisions regarding our children's education.....
Some great and more often than not there is a hell of a lot of gaslighting going on, where parents (including myself) feel that it is pretty much a tick box exercise whereby senior professionals are trying to superficially meet legislative requirements by holding a MAPM.
So what happens in reality?
Parents can usually expect to hear from most professionals for example health visitors, SALT, OT, Ed Psyc etc a day or week before the meeting as professionals scramble to get their paperwork together, they will casually find out a little bit about your child's progress on that call so that they can join the meeting and have something to say.
It is very clear to me that in some cases, particularly where children are placed on a reduced timetable that decisions are being made with absolutely no regard whatsoever for the legislation of Scotland.
In summary, The Education (Additional Support for Learning) (Scotland) Act 2004 provides that the Legal definition of additional support needs is where, for whatever reason, the child is, or is likely to be, unable without the provision of additional support to benefit from school education provided or to be provided for the child or young person.
The Act imposes various duties on education authorities for children and young people with additional support needs belonging to their area. Including (but not limited to)
What is Theory of Mind?
Theory of mind is the ability to attribute mental states for example beliefs, intents, desires, emotions, and knowledge — to ourselves and others.
How can we test Theory of mind?
The false belief test.
Sally-Ann Test: A child is shown two dolls. One called Sally who has a basket and the other Ann who has a box. The child watches as Sally puts her marble in the basket and then Sally goes away. Ann now takes the marble out of the basket and puts it in the box. Sally returns. The child is asked the question: where will Sally look for the marble?
The double empathy problem.
Dr Damian Milton proposes a different interpretation for the disconnection between Autistic and non-autistic people, dubed the double empathy problem.
Milton argues that Autistic people experience the world and express emotions differently to non-autistic people. He highlights that autistic people communicate, experience and display emotions, interact with others, form relationships, and sense the world around us, in a different way to non-autistics.
That doesn’t mean that autistic people don’t have emotions or feel empathy, it basically means that Autistic differences lead to different life experiences, which appear to create an empathy divide.
Comunication is a 2 way street.
However - Yes it could be argued that Autistic people lack ‘social insight’ into non-autistic culture and style of communication, but on the flip side, it could also be said that non-autistic people lack ‘social insight’ into Autistic culture and communication.
Therefore in summery Milton highlights that both Autistic and non-autistic people experience a lack of understanding for the other group.
Discrimination?
Autistic people are frequently given ‘treatment plans’ to help them to understand non-autistic perspectives but it seems a very one sided bias approach because non-autistic people do not expect themselves to understand or learn Autistic perspectives. Basically in summery Milton’s point is that we could see non-autistic people as lacking empathy for Autistic people.
Autistic empathy is no less compassionate, no less thoughtful than non-autistic empathy: it is just simply different.
An interesting read: On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’
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It appears to be the first go-to approach for many. Whilst these can be useful for some children in some contexts they can actually be very harmful in others.
Why?
👉 Because often autistic children with an average to high IQ will quickly identify a professional's blatant attempts to manipulate their behaviour which will often exacerbate the situation. In these situations, the concept of social stories is fundamentally flawed because it’s an attempt to make autistic children communicate in a non-authentic fashion. It’s basically forcing autistic children to hide their true identity which results in masking. Here the trauma cycle commences and continues of masking, trauma, masking, trauma. These layers upon layers of trauma heaped onto an individual into adulthood often result in mental health conditions, addiction, substance misuse, suicide.
What can we do?
💡 Instead of professionals imposing their “social stories” onto the neuro divergent child why don’t they start delivering it to the child’s non autistic peers within the classroom? Why don’t they attempt to reduce the stigma by creating awareness to everyone of the different neuro types and thought processes of the human mind?
✅ This is a true form of #earlyintervention which will promote equality before children reach the age of double digits meaning they are more likely to be open to acceptance of others as they grow into adulthood.
Here is a link to some fantastic books
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This image illustrates how masking appears to others on the outside (left) but on the right how it may feel to them on the inside.
Just like Peter Parker the intelligent science enthusiast, who appeared socially awkward, The persona of Spider-Man gave him the confidence to be bolder during social interaction.
The signs of this social survival strategy can vary from person to person, but masking can include behaviours such as:
➡️ Hiding your true feelings and mood
➡️ Forcing eye contact during conversations.
➡️ Imitating other people’s expressions and body language.
➡️ Developing rehearsed responses to questions.
➡️ Scripting conversations
➡️ Trying to focus on a conversation but zoning out.
➡️ Taking on the role of a completely different character in social situations.
Masking is an uncomfortable and exhausting experience because there is the requirement to:
➡️ Research social rules and norms
➡️ Learn social cues from other people and television.
➡️ Observe other people’s social interactions.
➡️ Practice ways appearing relaxed and engaged.
➡️ Monitor their own body language and facial expression during the conversation.
This can lead to:
➡️ Mental exhaustion.
➡️ Anxiety and/or depression.
➡️ Loss of identity.
➡️ Withdrawal or burnout
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In my experience the problem we see with Autism functioning labels is that the “High Functioning” label is used to deny support and the “Low functioning” label is used to deny agency.
It is extremely frustrating for a parent to be denied any support for their child on the basis that a professional deems them to be "too high functioning" or "not autistic enough."
Your either autistic or your not and denying support to a child with a disability is unethical and unlawful.
Further information and legislation is available on our website.
We have a range of courses here on offer, We are based in Aberdeen however our information sessions are also available on Zoom.
Image credit: Levianta on tumblr
#neurodiversity #autism #functioninglabels #autismawareness #Aberdeen #training #earlyintervention
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This is wonderful news! I truly hope we can see positive changes going forward.
There seems to be an ongoing confusion between inclusion and integration for our children. Inclusion is not just simply placing a disabled child into a school, this is integration. There are real risks associated with focusing primarily on integration and largely ignoring inclusion.
False inclusion is unethical and unlawful and ultimately results in trauma.
We need to be pro active and not reactive.
Early Intervention is key.
‘First of its kind’: Disabled Aberdeen girl to be educated in England after defeating Aberdeen city council in a landmark case.
Aberdeen City Council has been forced to shell out for the schooling of a disabled north-east girl after it lost a landmark case to force her to be educated somewhere cheaper within the Granite City.
#Aberdeen #discrimination #exclusion #disability #legislation #rights
]]>Four north-east women have launched a new community support group in a bid to raise awareness of neurodiversity.
Early Intervention Aberdeen, a support group for parents and care providers of young children with suspected neurodiverse or neurodevelopmental conditions, was established last month.
Launched last month by Linda Lumsden from Bridge of Don, alongside Amanda Nicolson, Michelle Blake and Lara Goldie, the group found that there was limited support available for neurodivergent families. Linda, whose son is twice-exceptional and has an autism spectrum condition diagnosis, experienced this first-hand. She discovered that there were many other families in similar situations, where younger children, prior to a formal diagnosis – or within their early years of diagnosis – are currently not receiving the adequate support that they are legally entitled to get access to. This frustration and detrimental impact experienced by many families receiving little or no support became the motivation for setting up the support group for families with children with learning differences. Linda said: “I was able to identify a need for the service the charity is offering due to my experience of being a parent of a neurodiverse child and through meeting other families, friends and adults who have shared similar experiences. “It is all our journeys collectively – children, parents, siblings, grandparents, they are my reason for establishing Early Intervention Aberdeen. “My personal experience of being part of a neurodivergent family only allows me to feel driven to support others on their journeys. “From the first unanswered questions they may have, as to what a diagnosis may mean, to exchanging ideas, offering counselling, legal advice and, most importantly, acceptance. It will be a place to feel understood and accepted by others who share a similar experience. “What I can tell you is that life within a neurodivergent family is ever-changing. It requires you to think on your feet, be inventive and think outside the box when it comes to being a parent. “My son’s diagnosis is about us adapting to his needs rather than expecting him to adapt to us. “Part of his diagnosis, and this can be said for all children, with neurodiverse conditions such as ADHD, autism and PDA is that they are unable to conform to expectations of what society deems as being ‘normal’. “As they are in the minority, I see the charity as being an advocate on their behalf until they find their own voices and can be confident in asking for their needs and accommodations to be met, to ensure their successful inclusion in society.”
Linda is joined by Amanda and the two collaborate with person-centred counsellor and specialist mentor Michelle, and speech and language therapist Lara. Michelle has extensive experience working with neurodiversity and is a mother to sons with ADHD and autism. Early Intervention Aberdeen is now active on social media. Its Facebook page “is full of easy-to-read information and tips for parents and caregivers”. Linda added: “I have experienced first-hand the negative aspects of an individual being diagnosed neurodiverse. But the balance to those difficulties is the strengths, joy, beauty and reasons to celebrate diversity that are so often overlooked. “Our fundamental belief is to promote a culture whereby early intervention support for every young child with a suspected neuro-diverse or neuro-developmental condition, is non-negotiable before the age of five. “All young children should have equal opportunities to grow and develop to become their best selves at the earliest possible opportunity. “We want to raise awareness of the support needs of children who may ‘slip through net’ because of their perceived abilities or simply because they are pre-school age. “We aim to be both a voice and support network for parents and care providers to encourage them to become more confident advocates for their child’s journey into adulthood. “This may support them within their individual situation while guiding them to understand their legal rights,” Linda added. “The team and I understand that families may become overwhelmed with sourcing information and/or appropriate support for their young child, who may present as having social and emotional challenges. We launched this page, as well as our website to help. “We are applying for charitable status and, moving forward, will be planning some fundraising events enabling us to provide a range of supportive resources that is often very limited or unavailable. “For example, S.A.L.T input and/or therapy sessions for children to positively focus on developing the early milestones skills and special interests of the child. “Not only that, but we will also be providing awareness sessions and webinars for parents and carers to enhance their understanding of a wide range of developmental conditions, support systems, legal rights and responsibilities. “The team at Early Intervention Aberdeen are keen to support and promote positive collaboration between families and others who have a mutual interest in the wellbeing of their child – e.g. healthcare, social work and education professionals. “We hope that by introducing a parent-led support group, this will help raise awareness and positively challenge legal changes and equality. “Our main criteria is to provide support to children in their early years who present as having social and emotional challenges and restricted and repetitive behaviours. “We value true autistic experience, and the concept that it is the environment that should be adapted to accommodate the individual and aim to move away from the old paradigm that autistic people should be forced to change.” The group has been collaborating with parents across the globe to gain an insight into how their children are supported in various contexts worldwide. It has also observed the challenges that the children confront as they transition into adulthood. Linda said: “Each of us acknowledges and supports the many other fantastic charities and support groups already in existence and who offer support to families and children with additional support needs. “We will also try to guide you to a more suitable service if we are unable to support your unique circumstances. “At the minute, we are promoting our online activities across the whole of Scotland. Any face-to-face activities will initially be based in Aberdeen city and open to those living in the north-east – once restrictions are lifted.” Visit www.earlyintervention.org.uk for further resources and more information about the forth coming events. Alternatively, email info@earlyintervention.org.uk
]]>Scottish Government Guidance for schools, local authorities and parents during January 2021 lockdown.
Date Published: 21 Dec 2020
Vulnerable children and young people – definition
Children and young people may be vulnerable because of factors related to their personal development, features of their family life, or because of wider influences that impact on them within their community.
This would include a range of children and young people, such as those:
Where a child requires co-ordinated support from more than one agency, this is likely to suggest greater vulnerability.
Who to contact? - Named persons as key points of contact (Health Visitor, School head teacher, guidance teacher) If you have a social worker you may wish to contact them also.
Full details available here: Vulnerable child School Placement during lockdown.
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